That was me, December 29, 2011. I had been having chest pains all week and they were scaring me to the point where I wasn’t sleeping. So I went to the emergency room. After all the bloodwork and testing it was determined that my blood pressure was a little high, but my heart and lungs looked fine. More than likely I wasn’t having a heart attack, but I did have some major heartburn. So I left with prescriptions for Pepcid and Aleve.
While I was lying down in the hospital bed, I had a lot of time to think. Besides a lot of fear and thoughts of my own mortality, I languished over what I had done to get to this point. I was almost 340 lbs (not my heaviest, that was around the 360 mark), I ate horribly, I would use my gym membership for a few days then take a few months off. Realizing that I was going to hit the big 4-0 this year, I decided I needed to make a change in my lifestyle or my years on the planet were going to be a lot less than I would like.
And let’s be honest, being fat is absolutely miserable.
Clothes made for fat people never fit well. I can barely walk straight somedays and I hate to eat in front of other people because I know they have to be staring at me and laughing silently. Relationships with the opposite sex or sex in general? Not happening. I spend a lot of time alone in the house with my dogs because flat out, my self confidence around other people is at the lowest it has ever been. I probably suffer from depression and just haven’t had it professionally diagnosed. I have come to realize that I have not been living life the past few years, but instead letting it pass me by.
Don’t get me wrong. My life doesn’t completely suck. But I just can’t help but think if I can get past this fatboy hurdle that life would be a little easier, that I could learn some discipline that I could use in other areas of my life, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, I could be slightly happy.
So hence, this blog.
I am going to use this website to track my progress. I will post my food journal, my exercise plan, and my thoughts along the journey. If you are looking to lose some pounds, I hope this inspires you. If you are a friend, I hope this lets you know exactly what is going through my mind and why I act the way I do.
So this is officially the first step, let’s see what happens when we bring the other foot forward….
